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The Impact of Relationships on Social Development

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THE IMPACT OF RELATIONSHIPS ON SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT

Over the last few months, I have seen a consistent theme emerge with clients and families within our communities, centered around personal health, well-being and relationships. 

As we are focusing on the importance of mental health this year, I thought it would be good to talk about the impact of relationships on social development – especially in that of our children in their early stages of life. 

Modern life seems to be filled with more stresses as humanity progresses. From a social emotional perspective, as a society, many of us are struggling. Our emotions are high, and we are feeling anxiety and uncertainty more than ever before. Once felt, this stream of thought and instability transfers to all aspects of life. But what if I told you that there is an intervention model designed by a psychologist, Stanley Greenspan that acknowledges our emotional social development and how it stems from relationships developed soon after birth? As health professionals we can use this model to support our families, both parents and children in developing the skills to maintain healthy relationships from the first 3 months of life! At Explore and Soar, we reference this model and use it as a guide in our intervention sessions. It is called the DIRFlootime Model; a Developmental, Individual Differences and Relationship based model that acknowledges each child’s unique differences and uses relationships and connections to establish a strong emotional social connection to further enhance development. This model is integrated into our sessions by following the child’s lead and adapting their ideas to enhance these skills through play. 

So why DIRFloortime? 

Well for us it aligns perfectly with our core values and supports our ability to develop connections and relationships with all our clients. But most importantly, it is an intervention model that acknowledges the emotional social development from birth into our adult years. It allows us as clinicians to work through developmental milestones from an early age. It is also a model firmly based on parent coaching; supporting our client’s parents/carers to further develop the skills needed to support healthy relationships. 

So how can we support our communities and families in developing these skills from birth to increase emotional development, resilience and social engagement, in order to avoid seeking intervention at an older age? This is done through awareness, education and acknowledging that the first months up to two years of life are of great importance when developing healthy relationship skills. 

In the first 3 months of life the foundational skills of regulation begin. This is the beginning of co-regulation between the parent and child and fosters shared attention; where the baby can seek the mother’s attention and they respond or vice versa. This then becomes the child’s foundation to a secure attachment. Attachment between the caregiver and the baby. The start of co-regulation is around the caregivers/mother’s ability to understand the baby’s wants, needs and desires. It’s the ability to answer cues and answer questions like are they hungry, uncomfortable, do they require a nappy change or are they in fact tired? The connection and relationship is based on love and learning to soothe the baby, creating a positive experience and strong connection. This ability comes from the baby having their own unique cries or cues to indicate to the mother or caregiver what they need. This is where the baby and caregiver become entrained with one another forming a bond; the foundations to co-regulation.

In an ideal world this seems simple, easy and realistic. However, every baby enters this world differently, every mother has a different experience and every baby has different sensory processing capacities that then impact their own biological rhythms. There simply is no one size fits all when it comes to taking care of an infant. 

As a new baby comes into the world, parents are presented with an array of challenges. Difficulty sleeping, reflux and feeding concerns, high stress births, babies being unable to settle or babies that simply do not enjoy being touched or soothed. These difficulties that arise for every parent, have a flow on effect with little to no sleep, stress, anxiety, self-blame and hormonal changes being merely a few of the impacts on our parents. This too then has an affect on the relationships that surround mum and dad, including their relationship with one another.  

This is all normal. But why don’t we talk about it more? Why do we gloss over the early stages of parenthood and try to make it look as easy as possible to the outside world? I remind my clients and friends that as parents, you simply are NOT a failure for not being able to soothe your baby. The only way you will ever fail is when you stop trying to understand your child. It is about asking questions and seeking medical advice when required, but also not being afraid to ask for help from your family and friends. 

It takes a village to raise a child. 

As OT’s we provide an extra level of support to parents, children and families. We understand and work with children in motor movement patterns at a young age to support their discomfort and the development of their sensory systems, including their sleep-wake cycles. We have the skills and ability to discuss with you your routines and support in identifying cries and ability to connect with your babies. We also acknowledge where other health professionals’ unique strengths can provide positive impacts for you and your child. But most importantly for us, our skills lie in the development of connection. We look to support our parents/caregivers by building the skills to interact, laugh, smile and play together with your child from a young age. We work with you to build upon the ability to co-regulate emotions, to keep you calm in challenging circumstances and to be present in order to assist in the soothing and engagement of your child. 

If you have any questions around the foundational skills of co-regulation and shared attention please don’t hesitate to reach out. The first three months with your baby’s life is the starting point to all engagement, self-regulation and social skill development for life. My hope is that in having these conversations, we will increase our ability to ask for help when needed. We will foster strong, resilient children who have confident, calm parents who are a little kinder to themselves in challenging circumstances. If we make an effort to start from birth, we can positively impact the mental health of our children as they get older. I know I’d love to see our children’s quality of life, self-esteem and love for themselves be greater in future generations. 

In our socials this month we will go through some examples of challenges and strategies that can help to support you. Take a look at our instagram or facebook to see more. Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you need a helping hand or would like further information on how we could help you!

Until next time,
Jess

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED APRIL 7, 2021

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Biological Rhythms

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BIOLOGICAL THYTHMS

This year we are placing a strong emphasis on both physical and mental health. As a team, we are focused on a core goal of wellness for both our ourselves and our clients. 

The place to start understanding wellness and why we react or act the way we do is by delving into biological rhythms. 

Biological rhythms are the homeostasis and natural cycle of change in our body’s chemical and organ functions. 

These functions are paramount to self-awareness and motor development but most importantly they contribute to our emotional and social development through childhood.  

No one person’s body rhythm is the same. We all move to the beat of our own internal rhythm and in turn, no 24 hour cycle within our bodies is the same. This means that each day, our body’s internal structure functions independently, adjusting and adapting to the external environment around us, with external factors having the ability to impact and alter our internal biological rhythms daily. 

Take my biological rhythms for example. I am well aware that my body’s internal rhythms differ depending on each day. They can be affected by things such as how I have slept, what my to do list looks like, deadlines, family or general decisions I have made throughout the day. Additionally, different external factors have the ability to alter these biological rhythms for me; the weather and other decisions that employees or friends make, all can have an impact on how my biological rhythms respond. If I were then to have difficulty identifying what my own internal rhythms were, and how they adapt to various situations, this would greatly impact my ability to co-regulate or self-regulate, therefore affecting my emotional well-being. 

Over the years, with practice and by heightening my self awareness, I have developed the skill to identify how my body responds daily to various factors. In having a sense of awareness, I can consciously make the effort to shift my biological rhythms back to their own internal flow, in order to live my life in the healthiest way for me. I am not perfect, and some days the strategies that employ are ineffective and that’s ok. It’s all about building your awareness, your own self-regulating strategies and ways of supporting your own internal rhythms to live your happiest life and ultimately fulfil your purpose each day. 

So what specifically are biological rhythms and how can they impact your life? Let’s dive in!

Your Sleep Schedule: your sleep/wake cycle is paramount. And in my eyes, one of the most important aspects of our unique rhythms. I enjoy chatting to people about their sleep/wake cycles and how different they all are. When we are younger we require 12 or more hours of sleep to integrate a full day of learning, to get adequate rest and to continue to develop. As get older, we start to adjust to our own needs and the hours required to function. I usually require between 6 to 8 hours of sleep per night, ultimately functioning at my best each day after a full 8 hours of sleep. Other people only require 5 to 6 hours of sleep per night to function at the highest level. What’s even more interesting the difference between night owls and early risers, and how their rhythms then indicate optimal function capacity. 

So what is your sleep/wake rhythm? Do you have a set time to go to sleep or a best time to wake up in the morning? Experiment with this. If you feel like you haven’t perfected your sleep / wake cycle, choose a time to go to bed and try it for a week. Make that commitment and determine what times work best for you. Understand how optimal or lack of sleep makes you feel. Pause, take notice and also observe your children. What do their best nights look like? What do their best mornings look like? How do they then get through the day on the cycle they currently function on? The million dollar question then set in, how do we identify and maintain this rhythm for our child in order to achieve optimal rest? Well, this is where we come in. We can individualise a sleep/wake cycle plan or strategies for your child / family to get the most out of this biological rhythm and trust me… if you get this right for your whole family, it will change all of your lives for the better! 

Your Appetite: hunger, thirst and awareness of when you are full are all part of the biological rhythm that is your appetite. Do you ever get hangry?? This is my biggest tell tail. I have an incredibly fast metabolism and I eat quite frequently. However, if I haven’t eaten or drank enough water, I start to notice my internal rhythms beginning to shift, along with my behaviour and emotions. Acknowledging my appetite is a vital rhythm that supports the nourishment of my body, in order to fuel my energy for the day. This biological rhythm involves noticing your metabolism, understanding how it works, which foods best fuel you, as well as which foods make you feel slow, tired or lethargic. Appropriate management of our appetite on a day to day basis is a major contributor to our mood and achievements in our daily life. So start taking notice of where your body best responds to food. Additionally, start to notice varied reactions to different foods, how they affect your daily functions. Consuming the right foods for your body and understanding the importance of a balanced diet is the second biggest contributor to performance and behaviour, ultimately determining how we respond to sensory information from our external environments. 

Your Bodily functions: such as digestion and going to the toilet are other biological rhythms that impact our wellbeing. When working with our families, in developing independence in self-care we often address toilet habits. Working with a child in order to bring awareness and being able to identify when you need to use the bathroom, toilet training and developing day/night dryness are all a part of working with an OT within the realms of this important biological rhythm. For some children, their independence varies for multiple reasons, identifying these factors and working through strategies to address this goal is paramount in supporting digestive issues and exercising bladder control.

Your Reaction Times: Pain registration, which is one’s ability to identify when they have hurt themselves, is a safety mechanism built into the body to ensure our survival. Everybody’s pain registration differs and is on a continuum from low registration to sensitive and a high registration. Being able to identify your child’s registration of pain allows us to determine when they are not ok, but also supports them in understanding safety boundaries. Everyone’s pain tolerance is different, so it’s all about bringing awareness to and connecting with your child in order to speak up and identify when something is in fact wrong.

Your Body Temperature: and our ability to identify when we are hot or cold, allows us to develop internal regulation in relation to the external environment. This facilities the planning and ability to stay at optimal temperature in varied environments. Chat to us about how we can facilitate the body temperature identification and interaction for your children. 

Your Heart Rate: Our heart rate is the main contributor to our emotional regulation. If our body internally responds to the external environment, the first thing that alters is our breath. If our heart rate increases or we hold our breath, this increases our stress levels, which has the capacity to shift our biological rhythms. When our breath changes, so does our regulation. If you have strong self-regulation capacities, you are aware of this and alter your heart rate and emotions in the moment to adapt to the current situation and environment. However, very few of us can in fact do this. By supporting and bringing awareness to the breath through internal body rhythms, sensory processing capacities and self-regulation strategies we are building the foundations to self-awareness and independence in our everyday lives. This brings about resilience, self confidence, flexibility and adaptability to cope with any situation life may throw at you or your child.

So how do we best start to develop biological rhythms with our kids? 

There are a few main interventions we use throughout our sessions. Rhythm through song and voice, and respiration and breathing strategies are perhaps the most important. 

As OT’s identifying and supporting an individual’s biological rhythms is paramount to their overall health, well-being and quality of life. We will chat through some strategies in our socials this month so keep an eye out! If you’re interested in tailored and individualized strategies that address your child’s or your families concerns, reach out to us and we can help attain optimal success for your biological rhythms.  

Until next time,
Jess

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED FEBRUARY 3, 2021

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Fine Motor Skills

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FINE MOTOR SKILLS

Now that we have discussed gross motor skills, it’s time to talk about fine motor skills!

Fine motor skills refer to the ability to use the small muscles of the hand, with adequate strength, dexterity and coordination, to grasp and manipulate objects of different sizes, weights and shapes. They involve the coordinated efforts of the brain and muscles, and they’re built on the gross motor skills that allow us to make bigger movements.

Fine motor skills consist of multiple aspects including:

  1. Strength in fingers and hands
  2. Coordination to support grasping or holding objects
  3. Manipulation when moving objects between our fingers and hands

From a very early age, fine motor skills facilitate interactions with the world we live in and therefore create opportunities for learning. As children develop, fine motor skills then assist the development of:

  • Independence in self-care activities such as doing up buttons, cleaning teeth, opening lunch boxes or food packets and using cutlery. 
  • Development of early literacy and numeracy with control and use of a pencil for drawing, writing or colouring, cutting and pasting.
  • And finally play! Picking up, moving or manipulating toys accompanied with their vivid imaginations. 

The most important fine motor skills children need to develop include the following:

  • The palmar arches allow the palms to curl inward. Strengthening these helps coordinate the movement of fingers, which is needed for writing, unbuttoning clothes, and gripping.
  • Wrist stability develops by early school years. It allows children to move their fingers with strength and control.
  • Skilled side of the hand is the use of the thumb, index finger, and other fingers together for precision grasping.
  • Intrinsic hand muscle development is the ability to perform small movements with the hand, where the tip of the thumb, index finger, and middle finger touch. 
  • Bilateral hand skills permit the coordination of both hands at the same time. 
  • Scissor skills develop by age 4 and further provides hand strength and hand-eye coordination.

I thought I’d offer some personal perspective on the use of fine motor skills, as I have recently received surgery for carpal tunnel release, on my left wrist. The experience made me realise how we often take our fine motor skills for granted. Without the use of my left hand, I experienced a lack of independence, the ability to coordinate both my hands together to pick up objects, to eat food and even to fully dress myself. 

After undergoing surgery, I had lost all the function of my left hand and started the process to rebuild and strengthen my fine motor skills including regaining a full range of motion, muscle strength, flexibility, independence and function. I was participating in a similar process of regaining fine motor skills, a process of which babies, toddlers and young children follow as they grow. 

To demonstrate this, I thought I would detail the common stages of fine motor skill development by ages. 

At 0-6 months old, babies demonstrate reflexive grasp when objects are placed in their hand, they are reaching and grasping for objects, mastering a controlled grasp (at 6 months), holding an object in the palms of their hand (with 2 hands at 3 months and 1 hand at 5 months) and recovering an object dropped in their visual field. 

At 6-12 months old, they are grasping and putting objects to their mouth, demonstrating controlled release of objects, picking up small objects with a thumb and one finger, their Pincer grasp develops (using index finger and thumb to grasp objects), they are transferring objects between hands (the beginning of crossing midline skills) and they start to show a preference for one hand over the other (beginning the development of right-handed vs. left-handed dominance). 

At 1-2 years, a child can build towers of two-three small blocks, turn the pages of a book (multiple at a time), they can clap their hands together (this is the beginning of bilateral coordination!), they can wave goodbye, scoop objects up with a spoon or small shovel and bang objects together using both hands (the beginning of bilateral coordination!)

At 2-3 years, children can string four large beads, turn single pages, snip with scissors, hold a crayon with thumb and fingers. They are using one hand consistently for most activities, picking up small objects with thumb and one finger and can also  imitate circular, vertical and horizontal stokes with some wrist action, along with illustrating dots, lines and circular strokes.

At 3-4 years, a child can build a tower of nine small blocks, manipulate clay material (rolls balls, makes snakes, cookies), use their non dominant hand to assist and stabilize the use of objects, snip paper using scissors, copy circles and imitate a cross. 

At 4-5 years, a child is cutting on the line continuously, copies a cross and square shape, they are writing their name and the numbers1-5, copying letters and can dress/undress themselves. 

At 5-6 years, a child is cutting out simple shapes, copying triangle, colours within the lines, and has a 3 fingered grasp of a pencil.

At 6-7 years, a child is forming letters and numbers correctly, writes consistently on the lines, has controlled movement with pencil and endurance for writing and tying shoelaces 

At 7-8 years, a child is maintaining legibility of handwriting, and has greater independence in self-care tasks such as doing up buttons. 

Comparatively, I worked through the stages of development as follows: 

Post operation, my hand function in my left hand was starting back at the 6-month-old stage. My left hand was completely immobile, wrapped in a tight bandage and was instructed to not move it and place no pressure on my hand in any way. My left arm was placed in a sling and required to be elevated at all times.

Around one week after surgery, my bandages were able to be removed and so to were my stitches. I was allowed to freely move my hand as able, however it was incredibly stiff, had very little range of movement and was limited by the pain.

I then commenced my passive (assisted) and light active movements of my fingers. This included supporting and moving each joint of my fingers as far as I could every 2 hours. It was repetitions and persistence of these movements that retrained my brain and body to work together so functionally I could use my left hand. 

During week 2 of  post-surgery, the movements of my fingers had improved to the point where I could now complete pincer grasp, transfer objects between both hands and increase my bilateral coordination of tasks. However, with very little pressure or resistance. I slowly tried to reintroduce simple daily activities to increase my independence, this meant I could pick up paper, hold my phone etc. 

By week 3, I was using my non-dominant hand (left) to stabilise and support my activities. I wanted more independence, so I pushed myself, within reason – much like a child would. I started to dress and undress myself with both hands including buttons and zippers, I was able to manipulate objects including hair bands to put my hair up, use cutlery, type on the computer with greater speed and open and close doors. 

Now 3 months post-surgery, my grip strength is almost where it was before surgery. Going through this experience highlighted the importance of fine motor skills development. Much like a child, it was important for me to regain those skills in order to not be dependent on someone else to support simple everyday tasks. 

If you’d like to help your child develop their fine motor skills, here are some ideas that you can do at home, together. Often the repetition of everyday activities is a simple yet effective helping hand!

  • Allow your child to assist with meal preparation, like stirring, mixing, or pouring ingredients. 
  • Put together a puzzle as a family.
  • Play board games that involve rolling dice.
  • Finger paint together.
  • Let your child set the dinner table.
  • Teach your child how to pour their own drinks.
  • Have your child roll and flatten clay with their hands, and then use a cookie cutter to make cutouts.
  • Show your child how to use a hole puncher.
  • Practice placing rubber bands around a can. 
  • Place objects in a container and have your child remove them with tweezers.

If you’d like more information, please check out these websites below!

schools.shrewsburyma.gov/ot/fine-motor

education.vic.gov.au/childhood/professionals/learning/ecliteracy/emergentliteracy/Pages/finemoto.aspx

Madeleine Simms

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED JULY 1, 2020

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Gross Motor Skills

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GROSS MOTOR SKILLS

Whilst we continue to navigate the current disruptions and changes to our everyday life, I thought I would focus on a term we regularly see in our referrals from parents, caregivers and teachers. Gross motor skills. The development of these skills allows a child to participate in everyday activities such as self-care, school work and socialisation.

What are Gross Motor Skills?

By definition, Gross Motor Skills are the physical abilities acquired during early childhood, those which require whole body movement such as standing up, walking or running.

Gross Motor Skills develop through the use of large muscles in the body in a controlled and organised manner including the torso, arms and legs to complete whole body movements. It involves both the coordination of muscles and the neurological system in the body. The development of these skills impact upon balance, coordination, body awareness, physical strength, endurance and reaction time. They are developed through experience, practice and repetition during everyday life and impact upon confidence and the execution of further skills such as; walking, running, skipping, sitting, jumping, hopping, hand-eye coordination (catching a ball), dressing, bathing, feeding oneself and even academic skills such as the ability to sit at a desk, manage a full day of school or carry a heavy school bag. 

Children need to be exposed to a range of diverse opportunities in order to move freely and practice their Gross Motor Skills, with each skill building on the one before and preparing your child for the next challenge. They are a vital part of childhood development for movement during daily activities and also provide a stable base for the development of fine motor activities, such as writing. As a child continues to develop their Gross Motor Skills and overall body awareness, their self-esteem and confidence grows, allowing them to explore the world around them, interact socially and develop relationships. 

The development of Gross Motor Skills:

It’s important to remember that each child develops at their own pace, however the development of Gross Motor Skills usually occurs in stages with each skill building upon the next. Categorically by age, your child should be:

  • At 3 to 4 months an infant can raise their head and chest when lying on their belly.
  • At 6 months an infant can roll over, both ways (from the stomach to back and back to stomach).
  • At 8 to 9 months an infant can sit without support and may start to crawl.
  • At 12 to 18 months a child can walk on their own. They’re a toddler now!
  • At 2 years of age a child learns to run, jump and throw a ball.
  • At 3 years of age a child can walk on their tiptoes, climb, attempt to balance on one foot, gallop, jump, kick a ball and try to skip.
  • Between 3 and 4 years of age a child can pedal a tricycle.
  • By 5 years of age, a child can leap, hop, skip and run. Proceeding this age we continue to grow and develop our motor movements which aid in the development of Fine Motor skills.

There are three types of Gross Motor Skills:

  • Locomotor skills: those used to move your body from place to place such as running or walking.
  • Manipulative skills: those that involve moving an object such as a bat, ball or skipping rope. 
  • Stability skills: those that are related to balance and body weight transfer, including standing on one leg or manoeuvring around an obstacle. 

How to encourage Gross Motor Skill development:

Infant development: Infants have very little control over their bodies, so they rely on their parents for support to move safely and comfortably in the world. Whilst a baby’s head needs support in the first few months of life, as they continue to grow they will slowly begin to strengthen the muscles in their neck. To support this strengthening and confidence in movement, hold your child to your chest so they can begin to peer over your shoulder. 

Furthermore,  you can encourage your child to learn how to move their body through tummy time.  Through this activity, you are allowing them to build strength and become mobile. To do so, put them down on a comfortable mat or blanket on the floor on their stomach, and walk around the room to motivate your little one to lift their head and continue to develop their neck muscles to see you. 

As OTs, part of our method to support engagement within a session is to play on the child’s motivations and interests. As your child continues to grow, I encourage you to do the same. Place toys nearby so that they can move and reach for them. Play games and songs with movements that they can imitate to develop an understanding of their body. Play parades or follow the leader to explore their surrounding environments. Throw or roll a soft ball back and forth. The ideas are endless and unique to each child. 

Toddlers and young children: Skills develop through practice and repetition. Children are more likely to repeat activities that are fun, supportive, encouraging and promote success. Always encourage trial and error, rather than the attainment of perfection. Break harder asks down into smaller steps and allow plenty of rest breaks when needed. Remember that children develop at different rates, gently encourage but don’t push your child to do things if they are not yet ready.

How OT’s support the development of Gross Motor Skills?

I love how fun my job is as an OT. We use a variety of games, equipment and toys to support the development of these necessary foundational skills. There are done through a variety of activities such as:

  • Visiting environments where children feel safe (at home or school) and exploring movement-based tasks that can be transferred to everyday skills.
  • Providing education to parents, carers and teachers to assist the collective understanding of supporting the child to best achieve their goals.  
  • Individually supporting sensory processing capacities to allow the child to work through challenging activities. This supports regulation and attention, as well as ensuring the body is receiving and interpreting the correct messages from the muscles in terms of their position, their relationship to each other, the speed at which they move and how much force they are using. 
  • The strengthening of core muscles in order to move the body confidently, as well as expanding upon balance, coordination, crossing midline activities, body awareness and motor planning. 
  • The breaking down of tasks or skills to become simplified components, gradually expanding the skill in its entirety to support participation and success.
  • Exploring varying duration and intensity of activities to support endurance. 

Building Gross Motor Skills at home:

In light of the current situation we are all living in, our families are asking for a greater array of ideas and experiences to continue to build upon these Gross Motor Skills. Here are some that you can do at home:

  • Skipping rope 
  • An obstacle course in the home or backyard to explore different surfaces and a variety of different movements including running, hopping, jumping, crawling etc. 
  • Bouncing, rolling, throwing, kicking or batting a ball
  • Balancing on uneven surfaces like different sized pillows or an air mattress
  • Keeping a balloon up in the air by hitting with their hands or head 
  • Water play! Splashing about in water strengthens leg muscles 
  • Dancing, walking or skipping to music, improving coordination and balance 
  • Bike riding 
  • Using body weight to gain momentum on a swing
  • Hopscotch 
  • ‘Simon Says’, which can assist in following visual cues, body awareness and motor planning 
  • Bouncing on a trampoline
  • Chasing bubbles can provide lots of fun while using arms, legs and eyes together 
  • Hula-hoops, which encourage children to activate their core muscles, ensuring further development.

That’s all for now! If you’d like some help or have a question, please don’t hesitate to reach out to our team at Explore and Soar! We are always happy to help and find the right solutions for you and your child! 

Madeleine Simms

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED JUNE 3, 2020

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Flying with Children

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FLYING WITH CHILDREN

As I write this, I am currently sitting in my economy seat on a Boeing A380. I am making the 13-hour flight from Los Angeles back to Sydney after a wonderful time with friends exploring a country I’ve never ventured to before. 

Here’s a solemn truth though, flying has always been hard for me. The anticipation and anxiety of the flight itself, the dreaded thought of hours of boredom, the stiffness, claustrophobia and the plane food i cannot eat… It’s a lot to overcome. 

The experience of flying long or short haul is different for everyone though. Some dislike it and avoid flying all-together and for others, flying is an exciting, enjoyable experience, no matter the distance.

Personally, I tend to become overwhelmed and anxious when flying. Full disclosure, I may be a little claustrophobic, so sitting in seats next to people with no way of being to get out when I would like to and feeling restricted makes or breaks a flight for me. It’s important that I am able to get up regularly and move around as the change in air pressure has different impacts on my body. I never really spoke to anyone about what I was feeling whilst flying, I thought I was the only one who felt changes that made me uncomfortable. But the more I’ve began to open up about how i feel, the more I realized I wasn’t alone in this. 

So let’s talk about the physical changes that flying brings to your body. For me, I experience earaches from the fluid moving in my inner ear and vestibular system, to increased bloatedness and pain in my stomach whilst remaining in an upright seated position for an extended period of time. Despite being somewhat uncomfortable as a result, I still make the choice to do long haul flights, reminding myself that the journey is worth it to get to the destination of choice.

Along with the physical changes, I also experience a range of emotional and social challenges whilst flying. I am quite observant and that can be somewhat detrimental as it’s hard to switch off during a flight. With concern about those around me, young children perhaps crying and even having to sit with my own thoughts – it can create an unhealthy environment mentally. As an adult, I have learnt to employee strategies to manage my own emotions and mental health on a flight. Watching a film, journaling, having a conversation here and there with those seated next to me to feel more comfortable, having playlists at the ready and trying to get sleep in to pass the time.

But what about how our children cope with the anxiety of flights? With the holidays fast approaching, it’s important to think about strategies to keep them happy whilst contained in a seat for a long period of time. 

Keeping children physically and mentally entertained on a flight can be challenging. All the physical changes that I mentioned above can also occur in young people, so it’s important to prepare for physical and emotional discomfort.  

So what is the best way to cope with this? And how can we prepare them for flights? How do we inform them and describe what is going to happen and why it happens in order to help them cope? And how do we help them through the physical and emotional changes in the moment? 

Let’s begin with the discomfort that you may feel as a parent or caregiver. Let’s face it, we have all been on planes where children have cried, whinged or acted out. As parents, you try and soothe your child or tell them to stop as the engrained societal pressures, worries and expectations of what others think begins to cause undue stress. We begin to take on social anxiety whilst dealing with the physical or emotional discomfort of a child. In this moment of great discomfort, try to remember that these feelings aren’t permanent and that your child comes first. Your child is only expressing that they need help. We need to allow them to express themselves to help them work through their feelings in a positive manner to recover and be present for the rest of the flight.

Now let’s talk about some strategies to help you through the experience together. You may want to try;

  • Preparation; Explaining what will happen, how long the flight may be but what the reward will be at the end.
  • Layout the expectations, for example we need to sit for 3 hours in our chair, how do you think we could do this? What games, books or toys should we take?
  • Physical discomfort; our ears may feel funny or blocked at take off and landing; the feeling is different for everyone. There are a few things to help our kids in this instance:
  • Drink water before and during take off to help with swallowing and keeping the Eustachian tubes clear,
  • Eating a fruit snack, chewing gum or foods and/or sucking on a candy to increase swallowing and keeping the Eustachian tubes in our ears open,
  • Practice our yawning and pretend sleeping games; it helps equalize the pressure in our inner ears,
  • If you have or are prone to ear infections, see a doctor beforehand to ensure safety when flying as it can be very painful for our kids and their ears,
  • Staying awake at prime times; staying awake during take off and landing will help with swallowing, if your child is sleeping, they may not swallow as much and could wake up in pain,
  • Let them cry; believe it or not letting our children cry for a few moments actually relieves the pain for their ears and helps equalize the pressure. Soothing them and comforting them too will help them in moving past this uncomfortable feeling faster, and
  • Most importantly, be kind to yourself – you’re doing the best you can. And so is your child! This experience may be very new and unfamiliar to your children, so comfort them and where possible make them feel at home in the space. 

The end of the year is nearing. We are all planning our Christmas / New Year holiday adventures. Don’t be afraid to fly and travel if you can. Don’t let what other people think or say stop you from living the life you want to live and going somewhere you have always wanted to go.

I cannot wait to hear about all the holiday adventures being planned for the Christmas and New Year holidays and I hope that the above strategies are helpful in keeping your children calm and enjoying a wonderful holiday period!

Jess.

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED NOVEMBER 6, 2019

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