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How to Build Resilience for your Child and Family

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HOW TO BUILD RESILIENCE FOR YOUR CHILD AND FAMILY

By the time you have read this blog, we will be back into the daily routines of school for Term 2. I don’t know about you, but Term 1 seemed to fly past, yet at the same time went so slow! Time seems to go faster as we get older, gain more responsibilities and life/society, in general, becomes busier. Some days there just does not seem to be enough hours to get everything done! And with that, I know that my own ability to cope and my own regulation capacity varies as I try to juggle all that is on the to-do list – both at work and at home. 

Over the last few months, I have been engaging in different professional development courses as I am forever learning and striving to do better at my job. While looking at various courses, a theme that seems to be more so present now than ever before is that of positive mental health, mental wellbeing and resilience. A theme that is across all aspects of society, with more awareness and education occurring on multiple levels. Resilience, in particular after the pandemic, seems to be coming more to the forefront. We often read NDIS goals or have parents tell us that they want to develop their child’s resilience. 

So what is Resilience?

Resilience is defined as:

  1. the power or ability of a material to return to its original form, position, etc., after being bent, compressed or stretched; 
  2. the ability of a person to adjust to or recover readily from illness, adversity, major life changes etc; 
  3. the ability of a system or organisation to respond to or recover readily from a crisis, disruptive process etc

(From https://www.dictionary.com/browse/resilience (14th April 2023)

We can definitely see from those definitions why it is such an essential concept at the moment. From an OT perspective, we look at occupational resilience – a person’s ability to successfully participate in their everyday activities while navigating the challenges, changes, stressors and difficulties they face. We develop this resilience when working with your child so that they may overcome whatever hurdle they face at that point in time. 

Resilience development occurs through external factors (our environment), internal factors (our values, motivations and beliefs) and learnt factors (social, emotional and interpersonal skills). As OTs, we look at the whole person to consider all of these factors. We look at developing and enhancing your child’s knowledge and skills of emotions and emotional regulation, as their social skills and higher cognitive skills such as problem solving and negotiation. This is only one factor in the overall bigger picture. 

Family resilience and how to develop it

Developing Family Resilience is also vital. A key protective factor in mental wellbeing is relationships. We can foster family resilience through occupations (activities) that focus on each person’s strength, allow open and honest emotions and regulation capacities, being present and engaging with each other while contemplating the bigger picture, such as how we can all give back to our wider communities. 

In my family unit, one way that we worked on our family resilience was over Easter, we spent time at home enjoying our own space while also resting our minds and bodies. Initially, the kids were not so keen on staying home, but it allowed us as a family to bake, have Mario Kart races, and do a puzzle where everyone contributed to the finished product. Not all of us are good at each of those activities, nor is it our favourite thing to do. There was plenty of frustration, annoyance, and disappointment voiced not only by the children but us as parents too. It allowed us all time to decompress and process the term that was so that we could reconnect, reset and refresh for what is to come. Each family is different, so there is no right fit or right way to do this. It is about finding what works for you and yours.

Resilience Activities & Ideas for you, for your child and for your family

  • Gratitude Walks – go on a walk around your neighbourhood, through a park and comment on what you can see and are grateful for.
  • Art therapy – spend some time drawing and colouring in with your child to foster connection and communication.
  • Community Service – give back to your community in whatever way you can. 
  • Ask yourself or your child what the hard part is – identify what the challenge is to them so that you can work together to overcome it.
  • Look at the Resilience Donut – I have, I can, I am – to identify your strengths. 
  • Compliments circle – take turns in giving compliments within your family; give a random compliment to a stranger and see their reaction.
  • Sharing stories of Resilient People in history whom your family can relate to, eg: JK Rowling, Nelson Mandela.
  • Create a dream board – using visualisation of what you believe your family values and goals are. You could do this individually and then come together to work on it. 
  • The Hard Thing Rules by Angela Duckworth – This combines passion & perseverance, building confidence and grit. There are 3 parts.
    • 1. Everyone must do something hard, something that requires practice, something where you are going to get feedback so you can get better at something; 
    • 2. Must finish what you start eg: season of sport, number of lessons signed up for; 
    • 3. No one gets to pick the hard thing for anyone else – you must choose your own challenge. 

Additional Resources to read 

Check out some of the resources below around resilience for various age groups. Please also chat with your therapist about how else we can support you and your child here at Explore and Soar.

Articles 

Brown. T (2021). The response to COVID-19: Occupational resilience and the resilience of daily occupations in action. Aust Occup Therapy Journal, 68, pg. 103-105

Masten AS, Barnes AJ (2018). Resilience in Children: Developmental Perspectives. Children 5(98) https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6069421/


Zafran, H (2020). Occupational gifts in the time of a pandemic. Occupational Therapy Now, 22(4),
pg. 5-6. https://caot.ca/uploaded/web/otnow/OT%20Now_JULY_20.pdf#page=7

Until Next time,
Lori

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED MAY 3, 2023

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What’s really happening when your kids play pretend?

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WHAT’S REALLY HAPPENING WHEN YOUR KIDS PLAY PRETEND

When I hear the words ‘pretend play’, my mind instantly goes to playing ’parents’ with my sisters, using our teddies as babies and making our little brother play the mean mum. I remember playing shops with a shoe box as the cash register, using the coins next to dad’s bed and stealing mum’s lipstick to look older as the shop attendant. My brother was obsessed with dinosaurs when he was younger, and to include him in our play, his dinosaurs often took on a lot less scarier roles, my personal favourite being our vehicles for transportation. 

What I didn’t know then was that my play themes relied heavily on my own experiences within the world through books, movies, and stories as well as what my parents had shown me through their introduction of play as well as their own everyday life activities such as eating, sleeping, and bathing. 

Pretend play shaped my childhood, it provided me with opportunities for creativity, imagination, emotional development, role playing, social development, increased confidence and so much more!

The Explore and Soar team recently took a course about play therapy and we had a collection realisation of the impact that pretend play can have on early development, also how pretend play can tell us more about a child’s development. 

What is pretend play?

The ability to pretend in play is about understanding the meaning of what is happening beyond the literal function of toys.

In other terms, it is ‘thinking play’.

When children are playing pretend, they are playing as if something or someone is real. They are creating a situation where there is more going on that what is literally happening. 

While there are many different types of play, pretend play is unique due to the specific key development skills it focuses on. These include:  

  1. Ability to spontaneously self-initiate play
  2. Sequencing play actions logically
  3. Using objects as something else (object substitution or symbols in play),
  4. Engaging with a doll or teddy character outside of themselves
  5. Integrating their play so a clear play script is evident
  6. Role play and socially interacting using play.

Even having a cup of tea with a child is pretend play, when you are pretending to drink from an empty cup or blowing on the empty cup because the tea is hot.

Why is pretend play important?

Pretend play is closely linked with language development, narrative language, abstract thought, social interaction, self-regulation, emotional integration of child’s experiences and creativity. 

Play sets the foundation for the development of critical social and emotional knowledge and skills. Through play, children learn how to forge connections with others, share, negotiate and resolve conflicts. Play also teaches children leadership, group interaction, and self-advocacy skills. 

Play is a natural tool that children use to build their resilience and coping skills as they learn to navigate relationships and deal with social challenges. It is also a way that kids conquer their fears, for example through re-enacting fantasy heroes.

Pretend play satisfies a basic human need to express imagination, curiosity and creativity, which are key resources in a knowledge-driven world. They help us to cope, to find pleasure, and to use our imaginative and innovative powers.

Pretend play can also be mixed in with other types of play. For example, when children are running around in gross motor play , they might also be pretending they are running in the Olympics or being chased by a crocodile. Or in fine motor play, they may be threading a necklace but the ultimate goal of making the necklace is for the princess in the play scenario to wear it.

How will the team use pretend play to hit goals?

Pretend play is a tool that we occupational therapists look forward to adding into sessions and sharing with parents and caregivers to explore avenues for creativity and spontaneity. 

As a team at Explore and Soar, our focus for this year is Safety for Vulnerability. Pretend play is a way that children unconsciously choose to present their emotions. It is here that we can model true self-expression and vulnerability, where there is no judgement on their chosen actions or themes as they are showing us their honest imaginations. Supporting this creativity is crucial to building a trusting and joyous relationship.

General ideas for pretend play.

  • Creating your own cubby house,
  • placing a variety of objects into a tub such as kitchen utensils, flowers, sticks and inviting your child to explore them,
  • Narrating and asking questions how they feel, the colour, shape and size. For older children this could look like discussing what each object could represent in a play scene,
  • Pretend objects can be different things.
    • For example, boxes can be cards, beds, tables, oven, house and so on. Cloth can be grass, ocean, deserts and snow,
  • Create spaces where you can join your child in role play.
    • For example, different rooms in the house could represent different everyday settings such as a shop or petrol stations, where the children have to use objects in their rooms to represent that,
  • Play Dress ups,
  • Play mums and dad’s,
  • Have a tea party,
  • Play Cars, trucks, Dinosaurs adventures,
  • On a smaller scale, try creating meaningful movements with figurines or small toys where the child can manipulate the toys and have their characters interact with each other.

Ask our Explore and Soar team for more specific activities or ideas on age-appropriate play themes and ideas to help start playing with your children today!

Until next time, 
Molly

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ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED APRIL 5, 2023

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Transitions for Kindergarten

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TRANSITIONS FOR KINDERGARTEN

Transitions can be an exciting and nerve-racking time. Transitioning to Kindergarten being one of those times in our life. It is the moment where you are finishing an era in preschool and being home more with your family, to starting your 12 years of learning at school. It’s the start of one your biggest transitions.

We at Explore and Soar, have you. 

We hear you in the excitement as well as the nerves. We understand the range of emotions we all have with the closing and saying goodbye to a fun stage in our lives and opening the door to the next. We know exactly what to look out for and how to assist during these times. 

As OTs for our children, we look at all areas of development, such as sensory motor, emotional and social, attention/concentration, fine motor, gross motor, self-care, routines, motor planning, problem solving and play skills. We dive deep into all these areas, identify strengths, areas to work on and provide a range of strategies to support their development in preparation for the coming year. 

Some strategies for our children are:

Obstacle Courses: Inside and outside (weather and time dependent), being able to crawl, climb in, over, under, through all different items within the family home or backyard that brings about a fun playful adventure. Sometimes we play “pirates finding the treasure”, dinosaurs or “hidden treasures in the garden” – the world is your creation in play!

Arts & Craft: Christmas is such a fun time for all the craft ideas that our children are motivated to engage in. It’s great for using all different craft utensils and ways to make anything, from ripping paper, scrunching and gluing it on a Santa hat, cutting out a Christmas tree, painting (inside or outside), using a water bottle and paper towel to clean up wet chalk drawing on doors or chalk on the pavement. If you want to share your creations, we would love to see them all! 

Eating & Drinking: With all the end of year social events and New Year, practicing drinking from our school drink bottle, to open it, close it and refill it is vital. So is eating different snacks and food. When going out to all events over the break, take your school lunch box and package foods like you would they were attending school. Practice eating from this packaging to ensure they can open it. Who doesn’t love to eat?? 

If you’d like some ideas, our team have developed a Transition to School resource for you to reference and support you for some fun activities.

As OT’s for our parents, we look at how to best support you in this transition to provide the best for your children, this can come in many different ways and is not limited by any means. Some ways that we support is through parent coaching and education, presenting transition to school talks at our local communities schools as well as providing online education transition to school seminars with a Speech Pathologist. 

Some strategies for our parents are:

Self-regulation & Awareness: Being aware of your own emotions and ability to regulate them. It’s ok to feel nervous, uncertain and overwhelmed, but being able to individually work through these yourself will further support your child transition. What emotions you are feeling subconsciously, your child will be able to feel them too. 

Ask Questions: It is ok to ask questions! Talk to your teachers, chat with allied health professionals (OTs and speech pathologists) if you have any questions about development and/or being ready to transition to school. We can help, support and give guidance for where you need it.

Attend our FREE online School Readiness talk with ASPIRE Speech Pathology. 

Our Director Jess Rodgers and ASPIRE’s Director Andrea Cooper, team up each year to present all the must knows around Speech, Language & Overall Development as our children transition into Kindergarten. The online FREE event occurs at 7pm – 8pm Thursday 3rd November. Please join us as we love answering all your questions and sharing our knowledge with you all. 

Lastly but most importantly. Follow your gut! Our gut instincts are there for a reason, if you have any uncertainties or questions, my advice is also trust your gut and go with it. The uncertain feeling is there for a reason.  

School transitions are big, we want to ensure you are well prepared and have plenty of opportunities to reach out. If you would like more information each November, we write different pieces around school readiness. 

We hope these last few months of the year are exciting, fun and playful. We are looking forward to sharing with you our last blog of the year next month and begin sharing with you all, all the changes and transitions, Explore and Soar have been going through too. 

Until next time,
Jess

P.S. Last year Georgia wrote a lot of helpful tips about school readiness. Read here. 

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED NOVEMBER 1, 2022

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Handwriting & Creative Writing for Self-awareness and Wellbeing

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HANDWRITING AND CREATIVE WRITING FOR SELF-AWARENESS AND WELLBEING

There is nothing quite like putting pen to paper. 

Handwriting is a skill that we are often introduced to prior to entering school. It is then further explored in early education, then over time we develop the ability to form more comprehensive cursive written text. As we enter our teenage years and tertiary education, we then progress to touch typing – with digital correspondence becoming our most prominent means of written communication. 

We are taught to identify and draw shapes that lead into the pre-development of writing letters, and understand shape recognition of our letters to then write them. As Occupational Therapists it is our job to facilitate fine motor development, hand control and the strength needed to be able to achieve these handwriting skills, develop pre-requisites to handwriting and the correct letter formation. This occurs from capital letters to lower case to cursive writing in grades 3 and 4. We do this in conjunction with a child’s development and alongside the teachers in your child’s classroom. 

The power of handwriting is something that we as OT’s stress the importance of. Hoping for it not to be lost in a technologically advancing world. The ability to draw shapes and practice drawing letters prior to school, is a more powerful form of letter recognition for development in reading and writing once transitioning into school (James & Engelhardt, 2012).This is a more profound use of skill acquisition and the attention to complex writing skills, compared to tracing over letters on paper or using apps to do on electronics (Berninger & Amtmann, 2003).

So, what else is handwriting powerful for? 

Its power lies in a child or adult’s ability to to express themselves in written text! It can also be used as we get older as a creative outlet, a way to express ourselves without judgement, a way to work through our own personal experiences and emotions attached or further explore the process of different texts like short stories, plays and poetry. The power of putting pen to paper for written text has such profound positive effects on mood and well-being (Deveney & Lawson, 2022), yet despite all this evidence and documentation on creative handwriting on paper, it appears we are moving towards more technology based learning? So how does this further impact our children’s ability to attend to activities for longer, enhance their higher executive functioning skills of organisation, sequencing of an activity and expand their ongoing development and coordination of all skills together, such as cognitive, motor and neuromuscular?

I pose the question, what if writing is a creative outlet? A way to express ourselves without judgement, without rules, a way to make sense of our inner and outer world and enhance our wellbeing through body, mind and spirit. To declutter the mind and find truth, reasoning and intent behind our feelings and emotions. What if the very idea of escaping into an idea or fantasy prompts emotional regulation, self expression and a great understanding of oneself? 

I say this as someone who has truly found the benefit of written text – predominately through journaling to make sense of the world around me. Growing up, written text, English and the pressure of being creative within a certain formula was extremely difficult for me. I would become anxious and overwhelmed by the expected requirements. Not to mention spelling, grammar and paragraph formation. It was like an automatic cognitive roadblock to my brain that impacted the way I would bring together my creative mind and my higher executive functioning skills. 

Upon reflection growing up, these were all a part of my challenges academically and skills that certainly didn’t come to me overnight. In focusing on the finer details, I couldn’t be truly creative and use writing as a means to express myself and my emotions. I lacked self-regulation strategies, emotional awareness and that secure free outlet that I find today, in writing by hand in my diary. 

Taking the pressure off my grammar, spelling and structure when writing has helped to truly clear the road blocks I experience when I have to write an important written text for business or for everyday life. Even more so, journaling and creative writing about my life helps to clear my mind, and allows me to prioritise my important tasks. Looking back, what I often wonder that if I had this opportunity to explore a sense of creativity without limitations as a child, how much more expressive and perhaps how significantly better off my cognitive and creative mind would have been then. Especially through my teenage years and the challenges that high school brings. 

By using myself as an example, I hope that you can see just how important handwriting truly is as a means of self expression. Add to this colours, drawing, mind maps.. And your child’s development is greatly and positively impacted not just today but their years to come. Creative writing helps us gain perspective and channel different emotions.

So how do you use written language in your life and does it support your well being and mood when engaging? How do your children utilise written text in their life, and are you allowing space for creative and written language to express their emotions and work out different daily social contexts and events in order to  help with their own personal development and awareness? 

It might be time to put pen to paper and step away from the screen – for some creative expression. 

References:

Berninger, V. W., & Amtmann, D. (2003). Preventing written expression disabilities through early and continuing assessment and intervention for handwriting and/or spelling problems: Research into practice. In H. L. Swanson, K. R. Harris, & S. Graham (Eds.), Handbook of learning disabilities (pp. 345–363). The Guilford Press.

Deveney, C & Lawson, P. 2022, Writing your way to well-being: An IPA analysis of the therapeutic effects of creative writing on mental health and the processing of emotional difficulties. Counselling & Psychotherapy Research, Vol 22, Issue 2.   

James, K. H. & Engelhardt, L. 2012. The effects of handwriting experience on functional brain development in pre-literature children. Trends in Neuroscience and Education. Vol 1 Issue 1. 

Until next time,
Jess

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED JULY 5, 2022

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Social Skill Development & Community

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SOCIAL SKILL DEVELOPMENT & COMMUNITY

Last month we spoke about enhancing our understanding and development of safety and connection between the caregiver and a child. In the time that’s passed since our last blog,  so much has happened at Explore and Soar and with our families! With school and extracurricular activities, celebrations, catch ups and holidays all occurring over the last 6 weeks, as well as the constant uncertainty of Covid, we have been forging a path towards a new normal.

I have often thought about how exhausting assimilating into a ‘normal’ social life is for me, my team and our families. We have gone from months of being stuck in our own homes, to all of a sudden being out and about all the time. It has been exciting to reconnect with our friends, family and community in ways we did pre-pandemic, yet such a change does come with a few consequences. 

Notably, our children are exhausted! 

They simply haven’t had this much social stimulation in a long time. They have been out on weekends and are now experiencing their first proper end of term fatigue. And let’s be honest, as parents, we too are exhausted and needing some down time. 

As much as I want to discuss social skills and interaction in this month’s blog, I’d like to focus on finding the balance between socialising and creating the time for rest and integration (processing) time. 

Socially, developing these skills occur at the commencement of regulation and engagement (please refer to our previous posts), but social skills are dependent on a child’s ability to process sensory information internally and externally (from the world around them). This is completed through sound (middle ear), movement (vestibular system found within the ear), and the visual system (eyes), in conjunction with other systems in the body. Additionally these organs and sensory systems are all connected through cranial (head) nerves. When we are processing information, our sensory systems alert and motivate our body to carry this information through our nerves. Our cranial nerves are located on the face and in the brain, which allows us as young children to begin understanding non-verbal social cues. There are a lot of nerves that are connected to the mouth and eyes, from our ears, which when working together, create facial expressions and we then in turn use words to express ourselves, allowing us to socially interact with others using both non-verbal and verbal communications. 

If our children have challenges processing sound, visually tracking or moving their body, just their emotional regulation and social skill development can be impacted. Unfortunately children can’t always tell us what is going on inside their body with the use of words, but they can tell us with their behaviour. 

So let’s take 5 minutes to reflect on how your children have been over the last month. Ask yourself these questions:

How do they look? How are they feeling? Are they regulating through their emotions? Are they coping at school? How fatigued are they? When you are communicating and connecting with your children, are they seeing your facial expressions? Are they able to read your social cues in order to pick up on what comes next? 

If the answer to any of these questions is no, then please take some time to work on safety and connection with them. Support their regulation, calm their bodies and nervous systems. Pausing and giving time for their bodies to rest is optimal integration time to support gains in all development but also supports them in understanding demands socially through their sensory systems. 

So many of our children are easily overwhelmed by sounds, visual input, touch and movement. When they are not able to process these inputs optimally, it can greatly impact how they socially connect with you, as parents, their siblings, and additionally how they cope in the school and community environments, when connecting with their friends.

Which brings me to socialisation in schools. Is your child having difficulties socialising with their friends at school, is it becoming more of a problem now than in previous years? And how can you help your children more?

Please reach out and chat to us if you are worried about this! Each of your clinicians will have an understanding of your child’s needs and when we are working with them, we are developing their foundational skills to further support their social skills, or additionally we are specifically working on skills that can further expand their capacity to interact with peers.

Some strategies we work towards developing are:

  • Understanding their feelings.
  • Understanding others feelings through body language and facial expressions, such as happy face, surprised face, frustration or sadness.
  • Understanding whole body listening concepts and active listening when interacting with friends or a group of friends.
  • Developing group plans, negotiating and turn taking within these activities.
  • Expected, unexpected and flexible thinking when working with friends. 

At home there are things you can do to further expand your children’s social skills, such as:

  • Understanding which emotions your children feel or express to you. How many are there? (remember this will differ pending age and their self-regulation skills). 
  • Can they ask you what is wrong if your mood or facial expressions change?
  • Playing silly faces, can they guess emotions from facial expressions, such as sad, excited, surprised?
  • Play a game together that you all contribute to, each having an idea and adding everyone’s ideas together, to form a group plan and play as a family. 
  • Play boardgames that are chance related to expand on regulating through waiting their turn, winning and losing, as well as supporting each other as a whole family. 

As we are socially interacting with others in the community, school and different events, in order to further support your child’s tolerance in busy environments or supporting their reintegration into the community, you need to take notice of fatigue. Please consider different strategies that can support you and your children re-entering into the social world such as:

  • Reducing sounds, visual input and high energy movement to help them process the world around them.
  • Provide some visuals and plan for the day to support their understanding of routine and expectations.
  • When the days are not as busy, take your time or allow for transition times between activities.
  • Provide moments of deep pressure hugs, fetal positioning, ice chips, inversion activities, respiration or squishes to support their regulation and calming of the sensory system for increased engagement and interaction with peers.
  • Reduce time spent in the community or at events to support a transition back into the community and increase tolerance of high sensory inputs over an extended period of time.  

Allowing and providing our children with the best support in order to allow their sensory systems to engage socially and be present with others is paramount. It is vital in the current environment due to the reduction in time spent socialising during the last 24 months. Be kind to yourselves and to your kids, you have permission to take it slow. You do not need to say yes to everything! Think about what is best for you and your family, and focus on that!

We hope to continue seeing all of you venturing out into the communities, reconnecting with friends and expanding upon our children’s social skills. If you think we can further help you with these skills and expand on our support offerings, please don’t hesitate to contact me or your treating clinician.

Until next time,
Jess

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED APRIL 13, 2022

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